Rosamundi's ramblings

Dear cyclists

You’re all bloody mad.

Love meeeeee.

I was trundling my merry way to Liverpool Street, as is my wont, because passengers on the Tube also fit in the “bloody mad” category. I stopped at a pedestrian crossing, because the little red man was red and the little green man was not green, and I was brought up proper and so know the Green Cross Code.*

The traffic lights changed to red.

First cyclist whizzed through them.

The green man turned green.

Second cyclist whizzed through aforesaid red traffic lights.

I stepped out into the road. Please bear in mind that the green man had been green, and thus I had right of way, for a not inconsiderable period of time (as such things go – certainly more than a quarter of its designated time) by this point.

Third cyclist appeared out of nowhere and in order to avoid hitting me he had to slam the brakes on so hard he fell off his bike.

I did at least have the grace to turn and enquire “are you all right mate?” and wait to receive an affirmative answer before walking off down the street giggling really quite hard (but quietly).

I am a bad person. I hope landing on his bum in the street after running a red light (a) hurt and (b) taught him a lesson.

*Incidentally, before anyone starts, pedestrians who ignore the Green Cross Code are also squarely in the “mad” category and deserve to be run over by irate cyclists.

airbrushed for change

Via Airbrushed For Change.

Haiti was originally called Santo Domingo, with the capital city named Santo Domingo de Guzman, and so, begging his intercession for the suffering people of Haiti, I offer the Chaplet of St. Dominic, also called “A Cry of Anguish” because it used in times of distress. It may be prayed on a normal rosary.

On the large beads, pray the O Spem Miram:

O wonderful hope, which thou gavest to those who wept for thee, at the hour of thy death, promising, after thy departure, to be helpful to thy brethren!

R. Fulfill, O father, what thou hast said, and help us by thy prayers.

V. O thou who didst shine illustrious by so many miracles, wrought on the bodies of the sick, bring us the help of Christ to heal our sick souls.
R. Fulfill, O father, what thou hast said, and help us by thy prayers.

V. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
R. Fulfill, O father, what thou hast said, and help us by thy prayers.

V. Pray for us blessed father Dominic.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, who hast enlightened Thy Church by the eminent virtues and preaching of blessed Dominic, Thy confessor and our father, mercifully grant that by his prayers it may never lack temporal help, and may ever increase in all spiritual good. Through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

On the small beads, pray:

Holy Father, cast thy mind
on the work thy hands designed;
In the Judge’s presence stand
For thy poor and lowly band.

At the end, pray:

V. Pray for us, O Holy Father, St. Dominic.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

God, whose property it is always to have mercy and to spare, we humbly beseech Thee, that we, who spoil the works of Thy glory by our sins and are justly afflicted for what we have done, may, by the merits and intercession of blessed Dominic, Thy confessor and our father, be comforted in our trials, and ever obey Thy divine will. Through Jesus Christ, Thy Son. Amen.

And, because James 2:15-17 is a passage I try* and live my life by:

Donations to the Disasters Emergency Committee can be made here, or, if you have a UK mobile phone, text GIVE to 70077 to donate £5 to the Disasters Emergency Committee appeal for Haiti. £5 goes to DEC. You pay £5 plus your network SMS rate. I know O2 have waived their charges so DEC gets the full amount of the donation.

*try!

[Sorry this is so late, I have, perforce, been otherwise occupied. As such things go, the funeral went, although I was expecting to read from Matthew's Gospel and the look of raw panic that crossed my face at a gallop when the Minister announced that "Rosamundi will now read from the Gospel of Mark," was, apparently, pure comedy gold.]

he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

Of your charity, please pray for the repose of the soul of my dearly-beloved grandmother.

grandma

When I prayed “and do Thou be merciful to those who during the coming year will be summoned before Thy judgment seat,” at midnight, I hadn’t meant it to be grandma, or so soon.

In honour of a woman who until very recently was still getting up at silly o’clock to make scones for church functions:

Rosagrandma’s Scone Recipe

12oz self-raising flour
1 level tsp baking powder
3 ounces sugar
4 ounces butter
1 egg, beaten with 3 tbsp whole milk (NB, must be whole milk)

Ensure all ingredients are at room temperature.

Heat the oven to 220C/425F/Gas 7. Lightly grease a baking sheet.
Mix together the flour and baking powder and rub in the butter.
Stir in the sugar and then the egg/milk to get a soft dough.
Turn on to a floured work surface and knead very lightly. Pat out to a round 2cm/¾in thick. Use a 5cm/2in cutter to stamp out rounds and place on a baking sheet. Lightly knead together the rest of the dough and stamp out more scones to use it all up.
Brush the tops of the scones with a little milk. Leave to rise in a warm place for 5 minutes, then bake for 10-12 minutes until well risen and golden.
Cool on a wire rack and serve with butter and good jam and maybe [Ed: what's with the "maybe"?] some clotted cream.

Rest in peace, grandma. Love you.

O sacred and adorable Trinity, hear our prayers on behalf of our holy Father the Pope, our Bishops, our clergy, and for all that are in authority over us. Bless, we beseech Thee, during the coming year, the whole Catholic Church; convert heretics and unbelievers; soften the hearts of sinners so that they may return to Thy friendship; give prosperity to our country and peace among the nations of the world; pour down Thy blessings upon our friends, relatives, and acquaintances, and upon our enemies, if we have any; assist the poor and the sick; have pity on the souls of those whom this year has taken from us; and do Thou be merciful to those who during the coming year will be summoned before Thy judgment seat. May all our actions be preceded by Thy inspirations and carried on by Thy assistance, so that all our prayers and works, having been begun in Thee, may likewise be ended through Thee. Amen.

I thought I blogged this last year. Apparently not. Anyway, I have seven ramekins of it chilling in the fridge (“why seven?” you cry, “when the recipe says six?” Because the recipe calls for 250ml double cream but Sainsbury’s sells it in 300ml cartons, and 50ml of double cream is no use to man nor beast, apart from for drinking straight out the carton at 3 in the morning).

Makes 6 7

2 cartons coconut cream (200ml each)
250ml 300ml double cream
75g caster sugar
4 blades mace
3 sheets gelatine

Slowly heat the coconut cream, cream, sugar and mace together until boiling, then simmer for five minutes. Meanwhile, soak three sheets leaf gelatine in cold water for five minutes. Squeeze out the water and add to the cream. Stir until dissolved and strain into 6 ramekins or small pudding moulds. Cool and then chill until set. Turn out and serve with mango and passionfruit coulis. Or not, because your Sainsbury’s doesn’t sell such a thing and you’re damned if you’re spending another second in the supermarket, which is full of annoying people and the queue for the checkout goes halfway down the aisle.

The rest of the New Year’s Eve meal is osso bucco, only with lamb instead of veal, and diced pancetta, with Risotto Milanese (thank you, Auntie Doris, for the saffron), a 2008 Sauvignon blanc to drink and a half bottle of champagne for midnight.

On the twenty fifth day of December, the twenty sixth of the moon;
In the five thousand one hundred and ninety-ninth year since the creation of the world,
when in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth;
In the two thousand nine hundred and fifty-seventh year since the flood;
In the two thousand and fifteenth year since the birth of Abraham;
In the one thousand five hundred and tenth year since the exodus of the people of Israel from Egypt under Moses;
In the one thousand and thirty second year since the anointing of David as King;
In the sixty fifth week according to the prophecy of Daniel;
In the one hundred and ninety-fourth Olympiad;
In the seven hundred and fifty-second year after the foundation of the city of Rome;
In the forty-second year of the reign of the Emperor Octavian Augustus,
when the whole world was at peace, in the sixth age of the world,
Jesus Christ, eternal God and Son of the eternal Father,
longing to hallow the world by his most gracious coming,
being conceived by the Holy Spirit,
and nine months after his conception was born
in Bethlehem of Judah as man from the Virgin Mary.
The Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ according to the flesh.

This made me laugh so hard.

Partly because I grew up with two Pyrenean Mountain Dogs, one of whom rejoiced in the kennel name of Inloc Electron Shell. Possibly the most badly-misnamed dog ever in the world, he was not the sharpest knife in the drawer – the great white hunter once spent half an hour stalking, creeping closer and closer to the fly on the wallpaper, and then he leapt and smacked his nose on the wall. It wasn’t a fly, it was an ink blot. And another time, he was ambling round the garden, sniffing the flowers, and he got stung by a bee. So he stuck his nose back in the flower to see what stung him and got a matching sting on the other side.

One to keep in the office in order to charge my extra-ordinarily geeky new phone. Not only does it have the picture of St Catherine of Alexandria from the post below as the wallpaper, its ring tone is some Dominican Friars singing the Salve Regina.

Anyway. Below is typed the text from the piece of paper that fell out the box when I ripped it open:

Instructions for use:
To use, plug mains charger directly into a readily accessible socket outlet located near to the equipment. Connect to your compatible handset to charge the phone’s battery. You can use your phone whilst charging.
For additional information, please refer to your handset user guide.

I would venture to suggest that if you need “how to charge your phone” instructions that go into this much detail, you should probably stick to using two tin cans and a bit of string. Or possibly carrier pigeons. Or semaphore.

I am surprised at the lack of dire warnings about the inadvisability of using it in the bath, or sticking the connector in your eye, or wrapping the cord really tightly about your neck and giving it a yank.

St Catherine of Alexandria

Glorious St. Catherine, virgin and martyr, help me to imitate your love of purity. Give me strength and courage in fighting off the temptations of the world and evil desires. Help me to love God with my whole heart and serve Him faithfully.

O St. Catherine, through your glorious martyrdom for the love of Christ, help me to be loyal to my faith and my God as long as I live.

Amen.

St Catherine’s feast day is 25th November, but the Wibsite was down, which is why I’m posting this today – I could get all clever and edit the date that this was published, but I think that’s a touch dishonest).